The Horror
by coffeebuddha
Summary: How would you like to find out that the half ghost that you and your friends think is 'totally hawt' is really your dad? This isn't your typical 'Danny has a daughter' fic. One shot.


The Horror

Disclaimer: Danny Phantom doesn't belong to me. However, anything and/or anyone that isn't canon, is mine.

* * *

Oh, this is _so _much worse than that time I accidentally walked in on my parents having sex. That might be dealt with by therapy. Lots and lots of therapy. Nothing can make this better. What really gets me is that it started off as a decent day. The sky was a little overcast, but it wasn't dark and stormy. I feel a bit cheated that the weather wasn't more unpleasant. Having a bad day with hail and thunder is acceptable. Hell, it's practically mandatory. Well, unless you're like my weird older brother, Junior, in which case you immediately run out into the thick of the storm to 'commune with nature'.

I wish I had been adopted.

So, where was I? Oh, right, bad days. Having a bad day with fluffy clouds and twittering birds is just plain wrong. The universe sucks. Nature sucks. Junior's welcome to it. My parents have told me several times that the universe isn't out to get me. What do they know? Sometimes, you aren't paranoid, you're just right. This time at least, I'm right. What? Don't look at me like that! I am! You won't be so skeptical when I tell you what happened.

Like I said, the day started off pretty good. I woke up on time, for once. Three cheers for my alarm clock, may it rest in peace. I feel kind of bad that it hit that person on the street. Anyways, I got up, and stumbled into the shower. Junior had used up all of the hot water. Again. Tomorrow, I think I'll aim my alarm clock towards his room. If nothing else, the cold shower meant that I didn't fall back asleep. Unfortunately, it also meant that I was awake enough to notice the beginnings of a pimple on my chin. How am I supposed to lure Luke away from his perfect girlfriend and turn him into my super sexy love slave if I have a pimple on my chin? Bleah, pimples suck. Pretty, smooth skinned cheerleaders suck. Once again, Junior can have them. Especially the pimples. I made a mental note to raid dad's lab for some sort of pimple cream later. With everything he has down there, it seems like he'd have _something_ to treat acne, right?

I managed to choke down some undercooked eggs for breakfast. Mom's out of town on business, and since she's the only person in the house who can cook, the three of us are in a bit of danger of accidentally giving ourselves food poisoning. Poor unfertilized baby chickens. They didn't deserve their fate. I put the leftover eggs in with Junior's lunch.

School was all right, considering the fact that it's an unholy prison of doom and despair. Mr. Lancer was out today. It's a little creepy knowing that I have the same English teacher that both of my parents did. I looked through mom's yearbook the other day, and saw a picture of him in it; he was bald. I'm becoming more and more certain that that thing on his head is a toupee. I shared my theory with Karen and Julie while the sub was trying to figure out how to unlock the classroom door.

By the time the sub had scurried away to find the principal, the conversation had turned to Danny Phantom. There are a lot of theories about him. Most of the boys think that he's super cool, and there's been a rash of people dying their hair white the last few years. Luke thinks that he's an alien. Karen and Julie think he has a nice butt. I tend to take Luke's side on it. Of course, I pretty much always take Luke's side, regardless of what his side may be. I mean, just look at him. That silky hair, those piercing eyes, that rock hard _body_…

Woops, drooling a bit. He's smart too! Well, kind of...

Privately, I've always agreed with Karen and Julie. Does it really matter if the guy is an alien or was exposed to some sort of weird radiation? He isn't doing anything to hurt anyone; in fact, he protects us. He's a little like Casper, only with a plasma canon and nice abs. _Really_ nice abs.

That therapy is looking better and better all the time.

After school ended, Karen and Julie took off to get burgers. I, of course, didn't go with them. Hello, remember the pimple! There's no way that I'm going to voluntarily go anywhere _near_ all that grease until my face is completely cleared up. So, since I didn't have anything else to do, I decided to follow Luke home.

I'm not a stalker. I'm _not_. I found that lock of his hair, and those pictures in my scrapbook are all legitimate.

…

Don't judge me.

Anyways, while I was following Luke, I noticed my dad on the other side of the street. Normally, I would have hurried off in the other direction. It's _humiliating_ when he starts in on how I'm his 'little angel' when we're in public. Bleah. Somebody needs to set down some rules on what is and is not acceptable behavior for parents. Public displays of affection shouldn't just be banned between teenagers at school. So, back on topic, I would normally leave at the first sign of a parent in public, but I was broke. Rather than wait until tonight, I pasted my best 'I love you daddy, now give me what I want' smile on my face, and darted across the street, just as he ducked into an alley. Now, usually, my father randomly hopping into alleys would cause me to raise an eyebrow, but today, all I wanted was some money. There was a pair of strappy stilettos calling my name from a store window. They were my size, and they were on sale. Who had time to wonder about my dad's odd habits?

I followed him into the alley just in time to see _it._ He transformed. The dad who had bounced me on his knee, taught me how to ride a bike, and always gave in when I pouted, even when my mom complained that he was going to spoil me rotten, was suddenly gone. In his place stood Danny Phantom. Then I blinked, and he was gone. Naturally, I freaked out a bit.

Okay, I freaked out a lot.

I feel kind of bad for scaring that senile homeless man…

You know, it might be easier to deal with if it wasn't for the fact that his 'disguise' is so thin. I mean, Danny Fenton, Danny Phantom? It should have been obvious. It _is _obvious. Apparently, people are a lot more stupid than I ever gave them credit for. Apparently, _I'm_ a lot stupider than I ever gave myself credit for.

What am I supposed to do now? How am I ever going to look him in the eyes again? First thing tomorrow, I'm resigning from my spot as treasurer of his fan club. Also, I'm _definitely_ taking down my website dedicated to snapshots of his butt…

* * *

Kristin: I suppose I should explain. Right. I was browsing one of the LJ communities that I belong to, and I saw a rant that someone had posted about how she was done reading Danny Phantom fanfiction, because it basically sucks, and she was tired of getting flamed for writing slash and posting constructive reviews. She also complained about the overwhelming number of OMG!Halfghostdaughter Mary Sues. I agreed, and being the snarky girl that I am, I said that it was enough to make me consider coming back to fanfiction long enough to write a good Danny Phantom fic. You know, just to prove that it isn't impossible. One thing led to another, and I ended up making a joke about writing a 'Danny has a daughter' fic, in which the daughter is completely normal, and somewhat squicked out when she finds out the truth about her dad. It was all meant to be in jest. Then the plot bunnies attacked. What you see above is the result. 


End file.
